I did something horrible yesterday.
I apologise if I make no sense at times, I have the worst headache right now.
Story happened like this, I was finally meeting up with an old primary best friend (whom I haven’t seen in 2 years) and we we’re planning on watching Paranormal activity; the marked ones together. Well, at that time we met up with another best friend of mine (my mum doesn’t want to hang with her -.-) and yeah.. we watched it together, and her friends were going to a party. In the excitement of hearing that, considering I was ‘grounded’ I abused the opportunity to go out. I technically accepted the devils invitation. My old best friend helped me out, to think of a excuse to go to the party – ‘I’m going to eat at her house’- and my mum agreed. So, I went to the party… time passed and it was about 7? and I really wanted to go home, but something told me to stay. AND OMG IDK. I got him at 8:40, acting so normal; I tired. It was the most scary experience ever, not only was I drunk, but the fear of my mum finding out and continuously asking me question made my heart beat faster than my own body could handle. I couldn’t sleep at all, the fear just took over me. As I woke up, my mum was so angry, demanding for my old best friends mums number; the fear tore me apart. Even till now considering it just happened today. I don’t know what to do, every time she moves I freak out, the fear of her snatching my phone again, finding out I was at a party. And that I broke her trust – already broke her trust, so it’s on the negative scale right now- and I don’t want to move away from my phone. I just sat there for a whole 10 minutes deleting every convo I had. I pray and I pray for forgiveness, I cried and I cried. What would happen if she found out? will she hit me again? will I never be able to go out? well one thing is for sure. This is my punishment; something I must never do again.
You know, now that I think about it.
- My mum never lied to me
well she did, but she did it for my sake (family business) but argh, knowing that I lied so many times kills me!
2. My mum always listened to orders
Ha! unlike me. I full on like do whatever the shit I want to do cause yeah. omg. I’m a horrible daughter.
3. she wouldn’t do anything that would hurt me
yay… more thing to think about the horrible shit i’ve done. I have destroyed my mum’s trust so many times I think we both lost trust. hahahahahahahaha.. kill me.
please help me Lord, I’m sorry.