Yeah ceebs everything, I’m just going to tell you what happened these past like what 3 days?
So as you know, my mum scolds me everyday for no reason (she has depression) and I have been holding in that pain for about 4 years now? And for some weird ass reason, I decided to let it out now. As you know, my mum loves to help me if I have problems with other things – but, if its about her? she goes mayhem and donkey kongs my ass. yeh, and my step father was there at the time and I asked for his advice. He constantly told me to ‘talk to her’ But I knew my mothers actions and I was too scared to. To my surprise I got the guts to do it, I told her my feelings. “Hey mum, lets talk… for the past times I’ve really been hurt… sometimes the way you talk to me sounds like you hate me or you despise me. And you get angry at me all the time. I understand what you’re trying to do is because you love me, but I want to be happy.”
I actually felt good after that, that I finally got to tell her my feelings. As expected, my mum backfired. “Your feelings are wrong, I stay home 24/7 waiting for you to come home, I cook, clean, do everything around the house just for you.”
“Mum, you can’t say my feelings are wrong. Everyone has feelings – I never said your feelings are wrong. Plus when I come home, you just yell at me. So why should I even want to come home.”
“I am so disappointed in you Nikita. So disappointed. You can never go out again. I am tying you up. “
“you are the devil.”
Thanks mum really, thanks for everything. But let me tell you this. WHO CALLED THE AMBULANCE WHEN YOU COULDNT BREATHE. WHO KNEW HOW TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. WHO STAYED BY YOUR SIDE WHEN YOU WERE DEPRESSED. WHO. WHO .WHO. I DID. I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVED YOU. AND THIS IS WHAT I GET. I HATE THIS. FOR ALMOST 7 YEARS IVE BEEN SUFFERING DEPRESSION MYSELF. AND AS FOR THAT I HATE MYSELF. DONT YOU EVER SAY THOSE THINGS TO ME EVER AGAIN. .